Cessily's Journal

[mercury]

Is there thickness in the air?
Or are you heavy on my heart?
Why can't I just fit in?
Why can't I do what everyone else does?

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Dear Diary,
Alright so this is kind of weird for me. I haven't had a diary or a journal in a really long time. But I saw you online a week ago, and well, you kind of just called out to me. So, I sucked it up and bought you. Let's see if I made a mistake.

I'm Cessily, I know silly to be introducing myself to a book, but something tells me, you are going to be the only one I can really talk to. At least about somethings. I have a best friend, his name is Julian, but well he's a guy so there are somethings I can't really say to him. I don't really have any female friends, they are more like, I know them because we are here, kind of people. I have another friend, his name is Jamie, but I really really can't talk to him about this.

He's really cute and he has this really cool power. He is, quite literally, the most educated and smart person I know. Way out of my league though. He has an amazing smile. One of those smiles that makes you want to smile in reaction. Now, you know this is just between us, right? I mean he's way out of my league, so yeah. Don't tell him, alright? And you can't tel Julian either. I don't want to lose him as friend, so yeah, we just gotta kind of keep this quiet. It might freak him out a bit if I just kind of told him. So, shhhhhh.

Anyway, I have to get going. I gotta go clean the boys bathroom. It scares me in there, but honestly, the girls bathroom is worse sometimes. But, Ms. Frost lets me work here for some spending money, so gotta go to work. Thanks for listening, next time I'll bring coffee.

P.S. Yes I know this is just a journal, but I talk to my teddy bear the same way so... nyah!

[mercury]

Is there thickness in the air?
Or are you heavy on my heart?
Why can't I just fit in?
Why can't I do what everyone else does?

[/size][/center]

Dear Diary,
I've come to the conclusion that if I want to get anywhere in my life, I'm going to have to make some changes. I'm working on being as confident as I used to be, back when I was a kid. That's going to be the biggest and hardest step. I also have to learn to quit trying so hard. It just seems to alienate people and quit complaining about things. It's going to be awkward for a bit since i'm not quite sure how to go about it. But at least I'll have you, right? So, starting now, Project Grow a Pair is commencing. Now, I just need to know one thing.... How do I do it? If you have any ideas, they would be greatly appreciated. Anyway, gotta go, I'll be back later. Peace.